every day in third grade i watched for mary to show up. because if she didn't, that meant i would be playing basketball by myself at recess. in the seventh grade, i tried to "re-shape," my nostrils using the very advanced technique of holding them in a circular position with my fingers. you see, mary got a lot more attention from the male seventh graders, and using my brilliant yan logic, i thought, "its her nostrils, of course it is." turns out, it wasn't her nostrils, it was just mary. and she would be on the receiving end of many many MANY, DID I SAY MANY?!!!, ahem, admirers in her time. over the years, as we drifted in and out of touch, and i went off and got myself married, i kept my fingers crossed that my old friend mary would finally find a guy who would appreciate her for the kind, brilliant, secretly soft hearted, extremly loyal, and flirt of all flirts that she is.

well, she found him.