what parts of the whole look like

i've said it before and i'll say it again. half of being a good photographer is being a good editor. knowing what to show and what to cut. knowing what it means to put your best foot forward. and i confess that i can be extremely brutal with my own work. almost never showing images that are by my estimation mediocre. but you know what happened?

almost all the images i have of myself and my family NEVER made the cut. they always fell into the "too rough around the edges to see the light of day."

you may have noticed i've loosened up arond here. its been part of my effort to be more honest. the line for content has been much more about autheniticity and much less about perfection. as a continuation of that, i want to show you a handful of images i've shot of my family in the last few months, that up to this point would have remained hidden on various hard drives.

these are parts of my whole. the parts that are much less polished, refined, and professional. all images on film.

thanks for looking.

this post is part of a project i'm doing with some other amazing women photographers in this industry. its a circle of links and the whole point is to get each of us to dedicate time to photographing more of what matters in our own lives. be sure to click on over to stephanie's moore's post what family smores night looks like.

sucked into the wppi vortex

okay, that just sooooo didn't count. as badly as i wanted to blog from vegas, i was denied internet access on every front! but i'm here now and back in the game, and trying to rack my brains for ways to prove i'm super duper serious about this daily blogging business. time will tell.

for now i'd like to share some images of a rockstar-esque couple. jessica and kevin are photographers in the denver area, and graciously agreed to model for myself and my buddy trish during a full day mentor session (the coolness, hilarity and talent of trish is a subject for a whoooole nother blog post). i felt like i was shooting famous people, that's how at ease they were in front of the camera. it was borderline make you wanna drop to your knees and cry and of cold, but jessica and kevin were capital T tuff, and game for anything. all i had to do was ignore that gleam of "i wanna kill you, let me go home," in their eyes and happy shooting times were had by all.

things i love: the gorgeous winter light--the way nature can bathe the coldest days in visual golden warmth. the couple's look: hi, pink hair. hi cool long gray hiar. high hobo gloves, and pink high heels. i think we're all going to get along nicely. last but not least, i love  their connection. that's the real reason for this whole gig anyway.

all images shot on contax 645 and canon eos 3. you know, the usual.

my favorite thing about marriage

are moments like the one marty and i had two nights ago while falling asleep: marty: (in that trippy place in between sleep and being awake--think heavy breathing)

me:  hey! i just made up another joke, you want to hear it?

marty:  ughhhoo

me: okay. what do you call a panda in a swimming pool?

marty: whaaaaaargggh?

...................wait for it

me: a panda in a swimming pool! (insane, obnoxious laughter)

martin: (in spite of himself): hahahahahahahahahaha

me: i am totally winning!

martin: winning what? who are you playing against?

me: the panda!

martin: hahahahahahaha

me: see, i win again!

*we both fall asleep smiling

.......

what i love most about marriage is the silly nonsense. the ability to make the lamest joke in the world and be appreciated for it.  then the ability to follow that joke with something that makes absolutely no sense---to anyone but you and him. happy sigh.

what do you love most about marriage?

and speaking of marriage, i'm working on editing this loveliest of lovelies wedding:

BEST OF 2011 FAMILIES

i never wanted kids. the number of times i fantasized about being a mom as a young girl was -2. ladies at church would ask me to "babysit sometime," and i would smile and nod, then pray they'd never call. when i found out i was pregnant, 2 days before my 1 year wedding anniversary, i cried. not happy tears. i clung to marty, terrified, and tried not to think about anything at all.

the next day i went on a run. we lived on oahu , and let me just tell you that sweating in hawaii feels like secreting sticky glue from your pores.  i ran my normal route to the end of laie point,  cursing the hawaii sun because i was so freaking hot.  i was so uncomfortable i started to worry. not about myself, about something else. then suddenly a feeling rushed through my chest,  shocking me and relieving me all at once.

love.

fierce, crazy love. a desire to do anything and everything to protect my baby. and i know this sounds incredibly dramatic, but the fact is, it was dramatic. the change was so night and day, i could hardly believe it myself. the fear i felt finding out i was pregnant was replaced by love and curiosity. what would it possibly be like to become a mother? it became something i definitely wanted to find out.

when i look at this post--that is waayyyy too long because  i suck at editing sometimes---when i look back at the families i photographed in 2011, that is what i think about. how family changes everything even when you don't want it to. its a miracle and a curse, and its the most beautiful power i've ever witnessed.  it will always be my favorite thing to photograph.

p.s. can you find the one photo that was actually shot in 2010?